Tag Archives: families

The King’s Speech

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Written by Matan Executive Director Dori Frumin Kirshner, this article was originally published in the New Jersey Jewish Standard.

If you have not yet seen the film “The King’s Speech,” don’t wait any longer.  I think it should be a requirement.  Without divulging more details than necessary, “The King’s Speech” depicts the real life experience of King George VI, who struggled with a significant speech impediment during the time before he became king.  His wife finds him a speech therapist who labors with the future King for years.  The film succeeds in bringing to the screen the tremendous conflict between this potential personal agony and his predestined duty.

Before viewing the film, I was not aware that any of Britain’s Royalty had struggled with anything more than infidelity.  It makes perfect sense, though, that some percentage of a dynasty would face certain challenges.  The Learning Disabilities Association of America reports that at least 15% of the population has some form of a learning disability.  The CDC’s research tells us that 1 in 110 individuals – and 1 in 70 boys – is diagnosed with Autism.

ADHD, dyslexia, and Asperger’s, all part of our 21st Century lexicon, have been part of the human story long before we had terms with which to label them.  Early on in the Book of Shemot (Exodus), God tells Moses that he is charged with leading the Jewish people out of Egypt.  In turn, Moses (loosely translated) responds, “God, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I don’t speak so well.  I have a stutter and being a public figure might not be the right job for me.”  God tells Moses, “Yes, I am aware of that because I created you this way.”  In other words, God was remarking, “I see all that you are capable of, not simply the things you struggle with.”  Because God recognized Moses’ unique abilities and did not define him by his disability, that is how the Jewish people came to view him as well.

Moses and King George VI demonstrate that learning differences and challenges need not be obstacles to achievement and success.  But what was it that allowed these two great leaders in history to overcome their struggles?  As it turns out, their formula for success is neither complicated nor expensive and can be summed up by 3 main components.  Each leader required:

  1. the unconditional support of his family
  2. an adept champion or therapist who was ready and able to intervene
  3. his own willingness to accept his imperfections without permanently diminishing his determination.  Even royal and Biblical icons are not  perfect.  None of us is.

And yet, all too often in Jewish education, we turn away children – and potential future leaders – because of learning differences.  What would our history be if Moses had been denied his role or King George had not reigned because of an impediment?  What kind of community are we if children who learn differently are met with rejection or indifference?  If at least 15% of people struggle with some sort of learning issue, can the Jewish community afford the price of apathy?  What will become of these 150,000 American Jewish school-age children and their families?

Every time we fail to meet these students and families with the integrity, professionalism and support necessary, we’re essentially saying, “You’re not worthy of a Jewish education.”  In fact, it is our failure, not theirs.  And, it is indefensible.

To be sure, this kind of inclusion demands support – financial, human, educational, and more.  Yet, those are mere details once the greatest impediment to change is no longer an issue – that of attitude.  In the world of special education, and religious special education in particular, the keys to success are built on creating an environment where parents, teachers, counselors and clergy embrace all learners with support and encouragement.  Qualified and compassionate educators who are sensitized to different learning styles will create unique curricula and develop unbreakable bonds with children while meeting individual needs.  If we actually truly believe we are all created in the image of God, this should not be so hard to implement.

Whether the story is told by Spinoza or Spielberg, on the pulpit or the Big Screen, about leaders of religions or nations, Jewish or gentile, every person has the right to learn.  Our job is to ensure that even those who learn differently can do just that.  If it necessitates removing obstacles or building bridges, changing curricula or sensitizing teachers, our past models and frankly demands that we provide opportunities to learn – math and holidays, Hebrew and English, piano and Bar Mitzvah – for all people.  With the proper support, determination and belief, individuals with special needs will surpass your expectations.  The real question is, can we surpass theirs?

February is the month where Oscar nominations are announced and Jewish Disabilities Awareness is addressed.  While I am not a movie critic, “The King’s Speech” gets two thumbs up and is worthy of an Oscar nod.  One for being a great movie, the second for reminding us that education is not only for the “typical” and elite – but for ALL who want it.

Dori Frumin Kirshner is the Executive Director of Matan: For Every Child.  For Every Community.  The Gift of Jewish Learning.

 

Inclusion and Parshat Ki Tisa

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I’ve had the privilege of being involved with Matan since 2001.  Since that time, the organization has changed its tagline multiple times. It began as Matan: the Gift of Jewish learning for Every Child. This tagline saw the educational experience that could be provided to a child with special needs as the ultimate gift. Currently the organization’s tagline is Matan: For every child. For every community. The Gift of Jewish Learning. I’m not sure how much other people pay attention to taglines or mission statements, but as somebody with a Masters degree in nonprofit management, I have come to believe that they are extremely important, especially if they change or evolve. In the case of Matan I take extraordinary pride in that evolution.  My pride comes from that fact that not only am I a board member who has seen the organization go through a positive shift, but more importantly because I am a member of the Jewish community with disabilities.  I believe the shift represents a transformation of the communal understanding of the role of people with disabilities within our community and the importance of including those of us with disabilities.

Let me explain, when Matan began it was generally understood by those involved that Jewish education was a gift and that by putting it in a form in which children with special needs could participate, we would be able to provide access to the Jewish community for these individuals and their families. In other words, inclusion was seen to benefit primarily people with disabilities and their families. The new tagline, while acknowledging the benefits of inclusion for people with disabilities and their families, also acknowledges the far more profound, and in my opinion, important benefits of inclusion, those experienced by the community as a whole. By understanding that the mainstream population, whom should be more accurately described as those who have yet to be diagnosed with a disability, can learn something from us, the people with disabilities, it empowers us and more accurately reflects reality. This concept that every individual has something to contribute to the community is effectively articulated in Parashat Ki Tisa which this year will be read on Saturday, February 19th. The Parsha discusses that the children of Israel are required by God to take a census. Rather than counting each person, all who participate in the census are required to donate no more and no less than one half shekel. By insisting that each person regardless of wealth donate the same amount the Torah is demonstrating that each person is equally valued. There is no difference based on perceived ability. Furthermore by choosing the value of a half shekel rather than a full shekel the Torah seems to be suggesting that each person can only reach its full potential when he is included communally with others.

It is my hope that our celebration of Jewish Disability Awareness Month and North American Inclusion Month this February will inspire us to embrace people with disabilities and inclusion within the Jewish Community, not only in February but throughout the year.

Jason Lieberman serves as a board member and treasurer of Matan. Diagnosed with both cerebral palsy spastic diplegia and inattentive adhd, jason is a tireless advocate for the full integration of people with disabilities in all aspects of jewish life and community

 

An Interesting Thing Happened on the Way to Rockmitzvah

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Rockmitzvah was really an accident… an accident waiting to happen.  One late evening four years ago, Marc Jacoby was scouring the Craigslist Community pages and fell upon a family in search of a real rock and roll band to perform, with their child, at a Bergen County Bar Mitzvah.  Marc got in contact with the mom, and unbeknownst to any of them, formulated the plan for the first Rockmitzvah.  The family made the trek to a warehouse in Yonkers, where Marc and his rock and roll buddies rehearsed and jammed on a regular basis.  When they all descended upon the cavernous and dusty venue, history was made, a contract was worked out, and a 13 year old man-child made plans for a true rite of passage — to rock out on stage with real touring, major label musicians.

After the event was over and the band was driving home, Jim Weingast, drummer and business manager of the ensemble, coined the term “Rockmitzvah”.  Jeff Reich, bassist and daytime attorney, trademarked the name to be shared by the partners, which included a fourth mentor, Cliff Mays, guitarist, vocalist, composer and educator.  A concept was born, and it has been quite a journey over the last four years.

Rockmitvah’s sole purpose is to integrate the bar/bat mitzvah child, and their friends and family, into the actual performance during their simcha (celebration).  The child is a star for a day, and friends and family members participate musically in a unique event which simply complements the tradition and meaning of this momentous day in the life of a Jewish family.

Because every family is different, and every child is unique, every Rockmitzvah is a custom fit.  This is why Matan and Rockmitzvah fit so well together – and why families with children who face learning challenges seem to be uniquely attracted to the wholesome and intimate entertainment model afforded by Rockmitzvah.  We are proud to be partners with Matan.

For more information about Rockmitzvah, contact 914-419-3610 or visit www.rockmitzvah.com.